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From Woody’s column archives, October 2020
My friend Kurt, out of the blue, phoned the other morning for no other reason than to say “hi” and catch up. His timing was perfect as I was in need of a little pick-me-up. By the time he said “ciao” my socks were filled with helium.
After hanging up, my mind drifted to Coach John Wooden – whose birth date, Oct. 14, coincidentally was the previous day – and some lessons on friendship he taught me during the two decades I knew him.
The first time I joined coach on his daily 4-mile morning walk some 30 years ago, he gave me a laminated card featuring his father’s “Seven-Point Creed” that includes “Make friendship a fine art.”
In an effort to be such an artist, the next time I visited Coach I brought along a small gift. Knowing his love of poetry, I selected a hardback collection by Rumi. Shortly thereafter, I received a handwritten thank-you note and a copy of a poem authored by coach titled “On Friendship”:
“At times when I am feeling low, / I hear from a friend and then
“My worries start to go away / And I am on the mend
“No matter what the doctors say – /And their studies never end
“The best cure of all, when spirits fall, / Is a kind word from a friend”
More prized than the signed poem is that over the ensuing years coach turned those stanzas into curing words, and deeds, when I was feeling low – particularly after my mom passed away and later when I was nearly killed by a drunk driver.
Coach even had a gift for raising my spirits when they were already high. For example, when I next visited him he recited a poem from the aforementioned Rumi volume. I must confess I did not know who he was quoting until he told me. Fittingly, the selection was titled “Love,” which coach insisted was the most important word in the English language.
The poetry recital was a thoughtful gesture of rare grace, and a lesson through example that saying “thank you” is nice but showing appreciation is far better. In other words, wear a new sweater or earrings the next time you see the person who gave them to you; put a gift vase on proud display before the giver visits; memorize and share a line from a gifted book.
Another life lesson put into practice was how coach always gave his full attention on the phone and never seemed in a hurry to hang up. Indeed, if he was too busy to talk he would simply not answer in the first place rather than risk the prospect of having to be in a rude rush.
I fondly remember visiting coach once when the phone rang and he let the call go to his answering machine. It was his way of telling me I was his guest and merited full focus. This unspoken kindness became even more meaningful seconds later after the recording “Beep!” when a very familiar voice could be heard leaving a message.
“That’s Bill Walton!” I said, excitedly. “You’d better answer it!”
Coach Wooden did not reach for the phone, instead telling me with a devilish smile: “Heavens no! Bill calls me all the time. If I pick up he’ll talk my ear off for half an hour and you and I won’t get to visit. I’ll call him back later.”
I am glad I did not have a visitor when Kurt phoned the other day while making friendship a fine art.
Woody Woodburn will have a fresh column next Friday. He can be contacted at WoodyWriter@gmail.com and his books are available at www.WoodyWoodburn.com.
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